nenek ku pergi jua ='(

tadi baru lepas text angah..
sound dia suh pegi register balik num maxis den yg dah mati tuh.


then suddenly dia call.. suare sebak mcm nangis.
"nenek dah arwah yuyu... pagi tadi" - 9 pagi mesia ~ 2 pagi jerman

terdiam.. tergamam..

angah ckp lagi "nnt angah tnye maxis pasal num tuh.."
me - OK

30 saat berlalu...
flashed back all the memories... then i just cried for the past one hour =(

last time i saw her.. one year ago
last time i heard her voice.. one year ago
last time i kissed her.. one year ago
last time i hugged her.. one year ago

how come so much changed in one year...??!
it was just one year!!!! --> emosi menguasai diri


i was frustrated.. cudn't talk to her for the last time. i wish i call her earlier.. just after i knew she had a stroke. but i just leave it to my mother.. i'm sux - the worst granddaughter ever!!!

to face one death.. when u r far away.. i dunno u can imagine about it or not ~

when i came here there's only one thing that i wish for - nothing bad happen to my family/closest family. that's all...

but today..
'kun fayakun...' sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Berkuasa terhadap segalanya.

this is faith.. i have to deal with it. there's nothing i can do..

i wish i can fly.. so that i can go home right now
i wish i was there.. just to see her face for the last time
i wish she still alive.. just for one month to see me again

i wish the distance between malaysia and germany is not 10,000km!


nenek is not very well recently.. i heard nenek had a cancer. then suddenly had a 2nd stroke after 10 years. mom went back to Kelantan twice.. angah said. and all of them also went back once. me - none!

last thing i know - nenek was discharge from hospital few days ago... and this morning she died. i have no idea the main cause.. is it the cancer? people died of stroke is not a common thing (as far as i know)... huhuhu

i'm too sad to think about it ~ now its nearly 4 am. going to sleep..


first thing in the morning.. call my mom. i hope they all could make it - going back to Kelantan before the ceremony.



al-fatihah buat allahyarhamah Mariam --> my lovely grandmother =(