innalillah... al fatihah

pagi tadi.. dapat ym dari kimah.. dia kte ayah nurul meninggal malam tadi kul 12. dah la mamai2 baru bgn tido. then xtau nk buat ape... huhu

flashed back...


knowing nurul... is one of the best moment ever. not only her.. but all my good friends at PASUM - pusat asasi sains universiti malaya. owh slumber den dh penah masuk 3 universiti sbnanye, UM-UKM-UDE huahuahua hebat ke? sronok jugak.. bole rase mcm2 environment ngee.

setahun matrikulasi dekat pasum, mmg syok giler. ye la baru keluar dri alam sekolah kan. then masuk U plak tuh. mmg culture shock jugak la.. sbb pasum neh mmg lain dri yg lain. then life pun macam super tertekan jugak la.. sbb tiap2 hari klas kul 8-5. mmg loser pun ader.. malam wat tutorial.. atau spesicifnye copy tutorial wahkahkahkah (xpenah suke wat tutor sendri --> pelajar bermasalah)

tpi life kat pasum.. banyak mende yg baru belajar.. contoh paling best ialah study smpi xtido malam. mmg tabiat ini sgt popular antra me, nuri, bb, nad and nurul klate terutama apabila musim exam then terbawa2 plak smpi UKM.. even kat sni pon slalu wat. ngeeee tpi result tak de gmpak sgt pon. so mende ni hanya valid tuk najwa je yea.. sbb i can cope with it and i just love my result hahaha and yg best jugak kat pasum smpt blaja cmne nk main minesweeper. ala game lam komputer nih. dlu slalu tgk abg main, tpi dia xpnah nk aja.. kerek jek. haishh

tpi kat pasum, nuri la yg aja... hehe best2. xpasal2 tuh la game yg plg addicted plus game mario ~ ngeh2.. tu pun naseb baik de 3 bijik conputer lam blik study kat kolej kterg. klu x mmg xmen la mende2 nih. mne ade komputer pong... zaman tuh sape de bwk laptop mmg kagum kuase 18 la... haih.. den pun 2nd year baru de laptop. sbb fes year pki pc huahuahua

owh.. back to the story. kat pasum tuh kterg rumate 4 org. me, nurul, nuri and kimah.. nuri tuh nme dia sbnanye wani tpi suke pgl dia nuri sbb nme pakwe dia hihi... xpasal2 lekat. amik ko ~ pdhal now dia dah de pakwe lain dah nme kenari plak ~ ahahahahah just kidding. nme ape tah xhengat ~ sesuki nk kasi nme burung kat pakwe dia haish. ni la nuri hehe

and best giler rumate ngan depa neh.. even de la gak kesah suam2 suku but i'm really proud that until today we remain good friends.. yg pnah lost dh cntc balik. and hari ni yg pegi menziarahi arwah ayah nurul pun sume geng2 kterg kat pasum. itu satu bukti - we are good friends.. or best friends forever maybe hehehe

normally kterg akan hangout sesme time sem baru buka.. sbb time tu nurul cuti (fyi dia amik medic kat indonesia.. twinning program but now dah balik mesia. smbg kat penang plak). and me and her mmg byk kali la gak kterg keluar berdua. sbb org lain seems busy (plik jgk den nih xbz kaa?) or maybe i'm the type yg tak kesah nak keluar2 padahal keje byk bertimbun ehehehe. and kterg klu hangout berdua mesti g makan, borak2 xingt dunia.. pastu tgk wayang.

there's one time.. kterg tgk wyg marathon.. i think it was film CINTA ngan CASINO ROYALE kot. the funny thing is.. i've watched cinta and she also have watch the casino royale. but then we all sanggup tgk crite yg sme 2x just becoz nak teman each others. she's dying to watch cinta and me plak mmg nk sgt tgk cte james bond tuh. so kterg tgk je dua2 cte... huahuahua i think that is one of the sweetest memory that i would never ever forget.

and i'm very surprised that... she really know me! better than anybody else in this world!! (kategori kawan la) that is so touching pastu mcm plik pun ade gak hehe. tpi mmg terharu la becoz tah la.. i never thought that someone would understand me just like she did (giler gay). and i do told her all my secrets that i wouldn't dare to tell any of my frens. super cool huh... yeah she means a lot to me.

so when i heard about her father, mmg rase sedih sgt la. tpi mcm lagi rapat ngan mak dia (sebok jek nk close2 ngan family org ahahahah) ala.. nme pun rumate kan, mak dia mmg kenal kterg. slalu je g mkn kat umah dia.. lepak.. beraya.. hehe syok2. and den dtg sini pun mak dia tau.. slalu gak klu chatting2 ke, mesti mak dia tnye kaba ~ (femes ke i neh.. ngehehehe)

bout her father lak.. mmg tau macam ayah dia xberapa sihat. then dah 3 kali masuk hospital xslap. but this time ni.. masuk sbb mslah jantung. and bak kate kimah mmg kritikal la. owh kimah ni merupakan seorang budak medic kat um and wat posting kat ppum.. same hospital la ngan ayah nurul. so mcm kimah ni my informer la ~ ngee tpi sehri je la. sbb dia cte pun smlm.. then hari ni dpt tau dah meninggal. aishhh smlm call2 si nurul ni xberjaye la plak. sob sob ~

anyway to nurul.. if you read this post. i know how it feel, i mean losing somebody that you really love. but i do believe in you.. you can handle this ~

*feelings of loss are universal.. we’re all human. but we each deal with death in our own individual ways. it simply takes time.

indahnye bercinta!!

baru lepas mengedit map nk letak dalam thesis.. tetbe tringt lak tag cik kimah ni.. haihs bedesap den kne tag mende neh.. siot jek. xsmpi sebulan kimah ni join blogging (sbb den yg pengaruh ish2.. xpatut 'rosakkan' budak medic sorg nih), alih2 dah pndi m'tag org huahuahua nway mmg btul tuh kimah ko busy body jek nak tau kesah ak ahahaha tapi lme2 pk.. layan je r ~

1. Berapa Kali Anda Benar Benar Jatuh Cinta? Dan Siapa Paling Meninggalkan Kesan Dalam Hati Anda?
jatuh cinta... rasenye lain kot dgn admire org sesenyap ahahaha ke same eh? so far suke admire org jerk. tpi xpnah lah jatuh cinte ngan org di admire neh.. sbb dorg hanye sesuai tuk di admire.. xsesuai tuk dijadikan teman idop den ~ (sesuki jerk)

tapi bile berckp yg plg meninggalkan kesan maybe dgn driver sndri la kot.. haaaa... nak tau cite jom ke soalan seterusnya. jeng jeng jeng


2. Siapa Dan Berapa Lama?
nme dia.. haikal.. xdek la lame sgt.. dlm 6 bulan cmtuh kot. then trus dia nk masuk minang plak. haih.. peluh2 la memikirkan nye. dah r mcm percintaan dua darjat. engineer dgn driver company haih xsesuai ~ ke cmne? ok ke.. huhu


3. Kenangan Paling Manis/Romantik Anda Dengan Mereka? Kenapa?
kenangan paling manis... hurm nme pun dia driver kan.. mestilah pengalaman sesat bersama2 di kota raya ~ gile drama. wat penat jek pki driver.. sesma sesat lak tuh. bek den drive sndri.. tpi tula dri sesat bersme2 tu la.. cinta tuh berputik. aishh drama lagi - cerekarama kul 10 kat tv3. huahuahua


4. Kenangan Duka Anda Dengan Mereka? Kenapa?
kene tipu dgn dia! cis.. rupenye dia bukanlah seekor driver.. eh over lak. seorang driver.. ha dia upenye anak org kaye mne tah. bole plak pura2 jdi driver nk tackle i ~ hish sungguh xpatut. manusia mcm ni patut dimaafkan ke? dah la i ni muke tebal sume org sok sek2 mengutuk duk bercinte ngan driver sndri.. siap nk tunang bagai lagi. skali kne tipu daaa... bajet bagus ke wat cenggitu?? huhu dush2.. amik 2,3 bijik


5. Perkara Terbaik Yang Anda Pernah Lakukan Pada Mereka?
perkara terbaik... hurm bile bercinta sumenye baik kot.. i mean you always do the best for your partner right?


6. Perkara Tak Elok Anda Pernah Lakukan Pada Mereka?
owh.. bile dah kene tipu. mulela membawa diri ke jerman. then saje buat2 bengang kat 45 hari gak la. actually lega jugak dia tuh upenye anak load ahahahaha bagus2. tpi to cheat on me.. mmg siot la ini punya guy! haih tpi tu la.. padan muke dia. rase skit terseksa. sumerang ckp dia mcm org sasau dah mencari2 den.. hurm tpi at the end ~....


7. Jika Di Beri Pilihan Dari Kisah Cinta Anda, Siapa Yang Anda Inginkan?
i want somebody like haikal.. just my ideal soulmate. cume jgn la masuk part dia menyamar jdi driver tuh k. mmg senget laaaaa


8. Anda Berjaya Mendapatkan Beliau?
owh.. hehe yela pas merajuk2 manje tuh.. kterg get together balik. what a happy ending huh? but sometimes life is not like that.


9. Jika Dia Berada Di Hadapan Mata Anda Sekarang, Apakah Yang Anda Ingin Katakan?
i wish you were true!


10. Bilakah Kali Terakhir Anda Menangis Kerana Cinta?
last rasenye time kne tipu tu la.. siot je kan sob sob


p/s: ok actually all those answers are based on a novel that i read. wahkahkahkah.. so none of them are mine ok ~ but as far as i remember.. this is the best story i ever read =p.. hehehe sorry yek "lu kena babe"! ahahahahahahahha

hari bengang sedunia

Xtau nk menyumpah ke hape ke.. but today is definitely not one of my good day.. even pagi tadi mood mcm ok tetbe ptg tdi ade plak brite yg mcm nk menangis bile dgr. Haih.. sng cerita ticket flight tarikh yg tgh nk book tuh dah xdek offer.. end of story.

So now kne cri tiket bru.. kne sevey balik.. aih mmg wat pening kpale den jek. kdg2 travel agent ni bukan bole caye sgt. Mcm bangang pun ade.. ok.. dah tersumpah lak. Lek2.. sometimes rase lega bile sebut2 perkataan xelok neh. Nape agaknye.. haih mengucap2..

Then tringt plak the other day.. borak2 ngan one of my friend.. life kat sni.. mmg down dia lebih dri up. Mcm dkat ukm tuh down sket2 jek.. ni kat jerman ni down xnk up2.. mengambil ayat dia ‘down smpi dah tak tau cmne nk down lagi’ ahahahah so funny ayat dia but I looove it.

Btul jugak.. bg kterg, rase down tu mcm dah biase dah. Mcm dah kebal agaknye. Hri ni fail paper esok dah happy, bole gelak2.

But for me.. the key word - no regret.. no matter what happen, no matter how hard it is.. I will never ever regret coming here.. y? because I never felt that way. Tah la.. its not perasan hebat ke hape.. and its not that nk belagak jadi cool/bagus/etc.. but series.. why should i?

the whole things that had happened during these years… xternilai harganye ~ money can’t buy experience or should I say my double degree UKM/UDE was an absolute experience that money can’t buy =p

maybe kene tulis buku gamaknye… (giler perasan hebat) no la… I wish I could share those ups and down during my study with other people. Bole r jdi pakar motivasi ke hape kan hihi and I think the starting point is when I go back to Malaysia on January. Mmg kne jadi jurucakap la gamaknye ~ dah la de satu tugas tergendala lagi. Have to prepare a report.. aiyayayaya mmg susah gak jadi DUTA KECIL neh.

Ok stop mengarut.. now I want to write my thesis. Smbil2 ade mood and idea dtg mencurah2 ni, baik buat keje. bagus jugak jdi emo kid today.. xpasal2 rajin wat thesis lallalalaalala

malaysia xselamat?

Di suatu pagi yang mendung…

odw nak pegi shopping kat esprit

“eh.. ko tau tak hp D***(bukan nme sebenar) kene ragut. Siot jek.. dah r dia baru beli lak tue hp tuh. Eii klu ak mesti sedih giler r. Dah r dia mmg dah lme suke hp tuh, skali kne ragut lak“

“yeke?? Eh giler r... cmne leh jadi cmtuh..“

“Dia tgh msg2... then ade motor lalu ragut la hp dia. Mmg bangang giler.. giler xselamat Malaysia”

“ eh agak r... klu kat mesia mmg bahaye la. Dlu akak ak penah ilang duit.. time tu dia tgh nk kuakan duit dia then tetbe de org amik pastu lari.. aiiiii pantang aje”

“yeke?? Eh adik ak pun pnah kene gak r. hp dia kne ragut, time tuh dia tgh ckp kat tepon.. mmg bengang giler la…”

“tah la.. kat Malaysia tuh mmg jangan la buka2 purse tunjuk duit.. xpun gne hp ke time kat lua. mmg bahaye la… ade je kne kang.

“owh klu cmtu nak call ke msg ke, kne duk lam bgnan la? selamat sket eh… ahahaha”

“sengallll…….”

“tpi mmg la.. kat mesia rase mcm xselamat sgt la. jalan sensorg kan mmg bahaye giler.. ade je kes ape2 kang. Then kadar jenayah mmg tgi.. gov mcm xtau la wat ape tuk atasi masalah ni. Budak ilang xjmpe2.. kes bunuh la. hih syco2… “

“ha’ah tu la.. klu kat sni (jerman) mcm safe sket la. nak balik malam2 sensorg pun mmg xtakut“

6 jam kemudian ~ (chat kat YM)

“eh babe.. purse ak….”

“ha nape.. ilang ke????”

“tahla.. xjmpe pun”

“ko dah cek lam beg esprit ke? Beg kamera?.. ko bia betik“

“daa... xdek pon“

“jap.. ak cek kat ak.. kot2 ade ke.. huhu (search2 lam blik). Weh xdek pong kat ak“

“(buat emoticon menangis).. ala xkn ilang lagi wei. Dah 2 kali dah ilang“

“ok lek2.. byk ke duit ko dlm tuh?“

“xdek la.. de 2 euro lebih jek. Tapi kad sume ilang la.. kad bank, kad kredit, kad maybank, mykad...“

“oh yeke.. (dalam hati.. ok la kad jek. Bole wat baru. Dlu time dia fes time ilang.. duit de kat seratus euro. Hp lagi ilang… tpi kad2 sume jmpe balik. Sbb ade org jmpe balik purse tuh ngan isi2 dlm dia sume de. Duit je r lesap.. pheeeew)“

Chatting terstop kejap... pegi masak megi ~

“ha pe cte wei..“

“sok kne wat g report polis r.. valid lagi kan. 24 hours after kejadian kne wat report kan?”

“valid je… “

“hurm dah r org tuh try wat kua duit gune kad kredit.. ak call tadi terminate kad2 sume. Then dia ckp la that man try few times to withdraw duit”

“huh??? What the… tapi xpe la kan. Ko kan dh gune smpi limit dia.. xkn dia bole wat kua duit lak.. fuuuh naseb baik”

“bukan la.. bole jek wat kua. Ak pun plik.. dia wat kua cash r tadi. 500 euro huhu”

“seriesssssssssssssssssssssss??.. cmne dia leh wat kua lak.. dia tau pin number ke?”

“tula.. ak de smpn lam purse num pin kredit kad tuh”

“sengalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll”

“tpi dia ckp ak xyah byr balik 500 tuh.. sbb bukan ak yg wat transaction. Tpi kne g wat report polis r. tah la wei.. tpi klu kne byr mati ak huhu”

“aihh mmg siot giler r.. eh ak mcm byk mende nk tnye ko. Cm nk g jek blik ko tpi mcm gelabah la plak.. mne tau ko tgh emo ke (mmg giler penyegan den neh.. caring tpi mcm xnk tunjuk haih)“

“ahahaha sengal.. dtg je r. Tenangkan hati ak neh huhu“

“owh.. ha kejap2. Eh ko dah mkn ke?“

“blom.. lapa la ni“

“yeke.. ha tgu la ak masak megi gak tuk ko satu.. sbb ko dri tdi mengidam nk mkn megi rusky tomyam ni kan.. ak masak la”

“owh nak amik ati ak la.. masak megi rusky.. ahaha”

Kelam kabut masak lagi satu megi.. bole plak la time nk cepat nih xtekan suis cook la.. pastu lagi sengal ~ lupe ON SUIS plak. Adei.. giler gabra.. pastu dgn rice cooker tuh skali bwk naik blik dia and tetbe je bwk sekotak air susu. Aiiih slack la plak xdek air gas. Bwk je la susu..

Dalam bilik dia ~

“ahahahahhahhaahahaha” kterg dua2 gelak giler2 dlu.. xtau nk sedih ke hape. Sbb tringt pg tadi baru duk ckp macam jerman ni agak safe. Tpi mmg tak dinafikan.. kat europe, even jenayah yg lain dia mmg agak low. Tpi pick pocket mmg rating num 1… siot giler ~

Then kterg still confuse time bile dia kne pick pocket.. sbb all the time kterg bersama and xperasan pun ade org mencurigakan ke sekeliling kterg. Yela.. nme pon pick pocket kan.. xkn dia nk tulis kat dahi dia “saya pick pocket”.. mesti la dia gaye cool jek amik brg org. dah tahap professional gile agaknye. sbb tdi dlm train mmg r bersesak2 pun… haih mmg senget la org yg amik tuh.

Then kterg smpi kat tmpt kterg - Essen dlm kol 2.58ptg cmtuh.. ingat sbb trun2 tuh trus tgk jam nk kejar train kul 3.08.. tpi mslhnye org kad kredit tuh ckp.. duit tuh withdraw kat Essen around 2pm gak.. so mesti org yg amik tuh trun skali ngan kterg gak.. pastu cpat2 pagi wat kua duit kot. Aiiii mmg bengong laaa..

Tpi time dlm blik .. kterg asek gelak jek (smbil2 mkn megi n minum chocomilk) mengenangkan kisah2 suram kterg kat sni. Mmg ade ups and down la. Yela mcm me myself pon penah ade kejadian sengal gak.. tertinggal beg kat lam toilet.. pastu siap mmg lupe giler kat beg tuh. dlm 2 jam pastu baru seda ~ haih ilang abes my PDA, kamera, passport, mp4… mmg siot la. dah la kat dalam university.. mmg kne sumpah 7 keturunan la org yg amik tuh. ****… sumpah2..

And even until now.. still tringat kat PDA tuh. yela.. me klu dah syg mende tuh mmg syg giler2 la huhu.. then klu tringt mmg asek mencarut je kat org yg amik tuh. Haih ~ tah2 dah xdek org tuh kat dunia ni kan (ceeeh giler bajet hebat sumpahan den).

overall.. mungkin semuanya berpunca dri kecuaian sendri. Tpi ditambah dgn factor persekitaran dimana semua org nk amik kesempatan and mmg jenis yg bukan baik hati. So tuh la jdi cmni.. ye tak? Cnth: kot yea pun jmpe beg tuh.. bg r kat tmpt brg lost and found ke.. then yg paling hangin tuh passport pon ilang. Mmg bangang giler laaa.. xpsal2 kne wat passport bru.. ingt sng ke? Haih.. byk abes duit pun satu!!! Scheisseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. sebok plak amik passport org. Nk g jual kat sindiket haram ke hape? Haih ~ mmg satu pengajaran r..

ape2 pun in life.. we learn from mistakes. Tpi klu mende tuh nk jdi 2,3 kali nk wat cmne kan. Xdek la nk kate ‘suwey‘ ke hape.. cume Allah tuh nak menguji kite lagi. Berkali2 diberi ujian.. so hopefully kite boleh tabah menghadapinye. And kat dunia ni.. mmg xdek tmpt yg “selamat” la.. just beware and be careful all the time. tpi kat mesia tuh btul la.. jgn tunjuk duit and then use ur hp kat public - mcm tepi2 jalan ke kan.. senang je nk jdi mangsa ragut ~ tpi xdek la setiap kali nk wat call kne masuk lam bgnan ke hape.. just pndi2 pk sendri la k.

and hopefully that 500 euro (rm2500) tuh dia xsuh byr la.. giler sia2 duit.. haih ~ owh ha pengajaran jgk. Jgn letak num pin lam purse! Heeee mmg pk balik sengal giler la.. but she has her own reason. Mcm mmg susah la nk ingt byk2 num pin nih. Plus num pin kad2 ni xleh nk tuka (i think so, kat sni r) so tu pasal la letak lam purse kasi ingt. But of coz mmg mistakes giler la.. tpi nk wat cne kan.. dah jadi ~ tak pe la.. “tiap kali kite jatuh, kite akan bangun semula. And kite akan belajar untuk tidak jatuh buat kali kedua mahupun ketiga.. and so on”.

letting go ~

almost 12 am..

bila mood tgh rajin, laju je jari jemari ini menaip.


situation
1. ecah ~ i know you always read my blog. then i just want to say how much i miss our good time together in germany. it has been a great time dude! i just look at our picture.. on the day you fly back to malaysia huhu

2. last night i chat with my friend.. and we talked about the 'good old days' of our student life in ukm. suddenly all those memories flashed back in my head.


description
sometimes when you remember all those days back... you want to hold on tight. because it make you feel good.
but sometimes you have to let go something.. something that u hold really tight. but it doesn't mean it will go forever.. because its still there.. deep inside your heart..

have to tell yourself that letting go is easier than holding on. oh yeah, it hurts.. especially if you are already accustomed to it. but you just have to let go... because if you hold on, you'll only be hurting yourself more. so although it might hurt and sting like hell... its best to let go..


keywords
hold tight ~ let go

!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes, you have to let life be

Sometimes, you need to hit rock bottom before you can improve your life and begin to achieve your dreams

i just love this word - SOMETIMES